Where I spent a good part of three Minnesota State Fairs
My closing down procedures
Before
After
This is Chris Baker. He is the one on the left in the hat. He made me look like a dick.
The Minnesota State Fair, and all of it's loyal followers
Ladies and Gentlemen, KFAN Promotions Coordinator Tim Hyde. He loves the State Fair
Nice tan lines. Funny thing about this picture is, no less then 30 seconds after I took it, he came over to the KFAN booth where I was working and bought a T-shirt
Your mom goes out with...Squeak
Sorry whoever you are...this had to be done
Vikings Family
All of the fish that Minnesota has to offer, all in one place folks
Umm, straightcashhomey.net gold right here
The fair dies when the the sun goes down
MN State Fair
Da Fan
More...people...
Really not all it's cracked up to be
A suicidal banana
You wouldn't believe how many people like to be suspended in air
Just dance your cares away my shirtless friend
What I did during the state fair
C'mon, you need to move on man
People...a lot of them
A bunch of random crap
Rawrrrr
This is called a "Favre Family"
My Brother once broke his face on this ride one year
That is a fine looking cow you got there
How do I feel about Brett Favre? Well, let me tell you
Mini horse(s)
Love...
Round and round we go
This woman has been trapped in this little box for generations...
The Minnesota State Fair has ended, so has my faith in humans but we can get to that later. I was at the Great Minnesota Get Together for a whopping 11 out of the possible 12 days. Let that sink in for a bit....
I wasn't there 1 day, or 2, or 3, or 4, or 5, or 6, or 7, or 8, or 9, or 10. Eleven. In a row no less. I would compare it to the movie Groundhogs Day. Only this movie wasn't funny and no one learned a lesson in the end. Well I did. But I doubt it was the lesson that will help me in anyway. So it really doesn't count.
Anyway, the state fair...what can be said about the state fair? Let me first tell you a little bit about what I did for "work" for the past 11 days.
I work for Clear Channel Radio (those not familiar with what Clear Channel is it's basically just a corporation that owns a bunch of radio stations, Cities 97 (my "employer") KFAN AM 1130, K102, KDWB, Kool 108 and KTL) and only Cities 97 does not have a stand at the state fair. Reason? I have no idea. Something about a disagreement and finally someone realized that the state fair is not worth having a radio station at.
That means that I shouldn't have to work at the state fair right? I mean, the station that I work at doesn't have a booth so I should just focus on the various Cities 97 events that we had scheduled. Right?
Wrong.
Since there are multiple stations under one roof, all of the employees share working duties if possible (i.e. state fair). Now, this was my third summer working at the state fair, with the two previous coming while I worked at KFAN (one as an intern, one I got paid). Back in those days you got $10 per shift for food money since everything at the fair was ridiculously priced. Back in those days you would go get a beer after you closed down the booth. Back in those days the state fair was fun...
This year we got $5 per double shift we worked. This year people couldn't leave the fair fast enough. This year the fair sucked...
So what happened you might ask? Well the story doesn't start on August 27th. The story starts on a cold, dark, Wednesday in January of this year...
That was the day that half of the promotions staff at Clear Channel were laid off in a budget cut by the company. I was saved from the unemployment line and moved from KFAN to K102 (of all things, a country station. Yuck) and from K102 to Cities 97 in March (thank god). While at Cities, the summer interns, Linda (other assistant that basically does everything for the station and now is getting a full time job in Texas) and I bonded really well and it was the most fun that I have at while at Clear Channel. It's too bad that the state fair, something that I used to look forward to, is now something that i loathe.
Since we were short on staff because of the previously mentioned budget cuts, we (Cities 97) had to work at other stations during the state fair. My station of choice/no other option...KTLK. What is KTLK? Well, it's a conservative republican talk station with the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and local heavy hitter Jason Lewis spit out hate across their airwaves (I voted democrat).
Recently KTLK switched their format around to accommodate Jason Lewis's move to a nationally syndicated radio show. Also on the weekends, "corporate" decided to play rock music on the weekends. Now, if there is one thing that you should never do to old people, it's never take away their talk radio. Basically for 11 straight days I got bitched at for "playing that crap on the weekends". One lady even blamed me, because, of course, it was all my decision. I can't tell you how many people came up to me over the fair to complain and to bitch. It's basically all that conservatives do now that they are not in power anymore. They view it as a travesty that a God fearing man is not in the oval office. One guy even said "Pretty soon, because of Obama, you guys won't even have a stand at the state fair." Oh really sir? Is that so?
And don't get me started on all of the people that were upset that we didn't have any free things to give away. Like they were entitled to a free bumper sticker or t-shirt and when they didn't get one, they acted like children and starting blaming me. At least I had tv to watch the entire time I was getting bitched at. Also a guy named Chris Baker (KTLK Morning Show) was suppose to show up at scheduled times during the two weekends...well either someone forgot to tell Chris or he is just a big jackass (I'll go with the latter) because he was never on time and never stayed for the entire hour. Sunday he didn't show up at all after I told countless people that he would be at the booth from 2pm to 3pm. Hey Chris, thanks for making me look like a jackass for no reason. I appreciate it.
The only good thing about the state fair was that I completed the quest to work for all stations at the fair (is that a good thing?) and when it was over. See ya next year? Probably not.
Ok so the Minnesota State Fair is still going. And going. And going... I've only NOT been at the state fair for it's opening day. So if you count them, that's 7 straight days....
And I have 4 more to go...
Not to mention two 10 hour days...
But, on the positive side there is this little incident that happened last night and it's too good to let it go to waste.
This is a comment left by one of the users of youtube...
"the boise state punk said something to him right before he hit him, probably some punk ass comment cuz he was surrounded by all his teamates and just LeGarrette. Your shit talking just ruined this big win for you, and good for Legarette for not taking his shit."
It's not surprising that his username was SoxAJ17...
1. New England Patriots The Patriots took a hit in their first regular season game last year as Tom Brady went down with a season ending knee injury in the first quarter of their game vs. the Chiefs. Now I cannot predict injuries but I can predict that the Patriots again will be in the playoffs and will be Super Bowl contenders. I know I’m going out on a limb here but it’s just a hunch that I have…
2. New York Jets The Jets traded up to select my new man crush in the NFL, Mark Sanchez, and look to retool their defense with new head coach Rex Ryan at the helm. Ryan was the Defensive Coordinator for the Ravens for that last few years and I think the Ravens are usually good on D. Also Ryan brought some Ravens with him to the Jets, most notably linebacker Bart Scott. I once had a personalized #10 Jets jersey that had my last name on the back. They then drafted Chad Pennington and he took my number. What a bastard.
3. Miami Dolphins The phins surprised many last year in winning the AFC East a year removed from going 1-15 (there is hope Lions fans) and it was also the phins that took the league by storm with the new “Wildcat” offense that everyone in the NFL is now trying to use (which will eventually water down the formation so much that it will be as bland as the shotgun. I don’t get it, yeah it is a good formation for some teams and it can be useful but the reason that the Dolphins were so successful with it last year is because they had two good backs to run it and no one in the NFL was prepared for it. This year they will be. My bold prediction is that the “Wildcat” will be used by 80% of the teams to start the year and that number will dwindle to 10%...or 3 teams)
4. Buffalo Bills Someone has to finish in last place in this division. And that someone is T.O. and the Buffalo Bills. If you haven’t been up to date with pop culture T.O. has his own “reality” show. I’m not really sure what to think of it. First, it’s on VH1 so that should tell you all you need to know about the reality part. Second, it’s a “look” into T.O.’s daily life. So basically he is a socially awkward guy that can’t act and has super models waiting for him at his LA pad. Pretty realistic… Good luck Trent Edwards.
AFC NORTH
1. Pittsburgh Steelers The Steelers look primed to repeat as North Division Champs after winning the Super Bowl last year. Returning are Rashard Mendenhall and his healthy shoulder (provided that Ray Ray doesn’t break it again this year) and leaving are Gary Russell (thanks for going to class) and wide receiver Nate Washington. Big Ben beat rape charges and now he looks to beat the rest of the NFL…again…for the 3rd time…
2. Baltimore Ravens The Ravens are back looking to contend for the North title. They are minus a D Coordinator and a big time linebacker but still have Ray Ray, Terrell Suggs (perhaps the only Twins fan in Maryland) and Ed Reed patrolling the secondary. Their offense should be improved slightly with Flacco having another year under his belt and Ray Rice looking to get the starting nod. Now if Ray Ray can hold back on the murdering this year, the Ravens should be fine.
3. Cincinnati Bengals It is year one for the official Chad Ocho Cinco regime as the will finally get his wish and have Ocho Cinco on the back of his jersey and hopefully lots of cash in his pocket after jersey sales (my prediction is he will be #2 behind a certain QB for the Vikings). Carson Palmer is also healthy so Chad should be back to normal. Hopefully he kicks some more extra points this year to boost his fantasy value.
4. Cleveland Browns It’s rebuilding time for the Browns, again. Two years removed from a 10 win season the Browns only won 4 games last year and it doesn’t look good again this year. Traded away is Tight End Kellen Winslow and the Browns still have both Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson on roster leaving new head coach Eric Mangini to make the choice that Chromeo couldn’t make. My money is on Quinn because he is cuter.
AFC SOUTH
1. Indianapolis Colts Peyton Manning and the Colts took a backseat to the Titans a year ago but this year will be different. Tony Dungy may be gone but the Colts went in house to find his replacement in Jim Caldwell and Tom Moore is still around to keep Peyton company. Also gone is potential Hall of Fame wide out (and suspected gang banger) Marvin Harrison but again the Colts go in house to replace him with Anthony Gonzalez. Peyton needs a new commercial to come out…
2. Tennessee Titans Kerry Collins led a resurgent Titans team to a impressive 13-3 record last year before falling to the Ravens in the post season. VY has declared himself to be a Hall of Fame quarterback this off season to which I say, “Don’t you have to be a starter first?” Regardless, the Titans will again rely heavily on the run this year with Chris Johnson and LenDale White (sans tequila) leading the way. The Titans need to replace Albert Haynesworth on the D line and overall need to get better on D to compete for a title. Sam, if I see you at a game this year I will call you. Sound good?
3. Jacksonville Jaguars 2008 was a forgetful year for the Jags as they went from playoff/division contender to cellar dweller. Jack Del Rio looks to change things this year and it started with giving the reigns of the team over to Maurice Jones-Drew after MJ-D split time with Fred Taylor in the previous years. David Garrard returns at QB and the defense is usually tenacious with Del Rio at the helm. The Jags still have to deal with the Colts and Titans so unless a few upsets happen, the Jags will be watching the playoffs at home again. Matt, if I see you at a game this year I will call you. Sound good? (that goes for you in Indy as well)
4. Houston Texans Houston had a .500 record last year for the 2nd straight year (the Texans have yet to record a winning record) and still have Andre Johnson who is one of the better wide receivers in the league. Also, if you were not aware of this, Mike Jones is also battling for a wide receiver spot on the team. Not that Mike Jones, but I hope he makes it so if he ever scored a TD, Scott Van Pelt will throw out a “MIKE JONES!”
AFC WEST
1. San Diego Chargers San Diego wins this division because of two reasons…They are a good team and the rest of their division is terrible. I mean seriously…the Raiders, Chiefs and Broncos could win 10 games this year…combined. Also LT is still there and Darren Sproles is still little. Antonio Gates and Vince Jackson will help out new $92 million dollar man Phillip Rivers taunt other players and Shawn Merriman is back to turn his switch off and on.
2. Kansas City Chiefs The Chiefs are under new rule with former Patriot big wig Scott Peoli taking over the team and Todd Haley (former AZ O Coordinator) coaching it. Peoli already took Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel from the Pats and look to turn KC into a playoff contender again. It won’t happen this year. Sorry Scott and Todd.
3. Denver Broncos The Broncos have had the most interesting off season thus far. First they fired Mike Shanahan and replaced him with baby-faced Josh McDaniels. Then McDaniels and then quarterback Jay Cutler got into a tiff because McDaniels wanted to acquire Cassel and eventually Cutler was traded to the Bears. Now, #1 wide receiver Brandon Marshall wants out as well. Always a good way to start your first head coaching job. Good luck with Kyle Orton…(p.s. go to the 1:50 mark)
4. Oakland Raiders I have nothing really to say about the Raiders. Their Head Coach punches assistants and their owner is a crazy alien. That’s about it…
NFC EAST
1. Philadelphia Eagles I’m a big fan of everything that the Eagles did in this off season. They probably had the best draft in drafting two offensive playmakers in LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin to help Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook. Their defense took a hit when long time d coordinator and blitz master Jim Johnson passed after a long battle with cancer but there are a lot of vets on this team that are hungry after losing in the NFC Championship game last season. Oh, and they have this guy...
2. New York Giants The Giants take a step back this year with no clear #1 wide receiver that Eli can rely on. Steve Smith is potentially going to have to step up and be that guy. But only its not this Steve Smith...its this Steve Smith. Eli’s new big contract goes to his head and he starts playing like Peyton. Which, if you haven’t heard, would be a good thing.
3. Dallas Cowboys Its not that the Cowboys are a 3rd place team, it is just that the NFC East again proves to be the toughest division in football. T.O. is gone (see “The T.O. Show”) and Roy Williams takes his place as the #1 wide out. Felix Jones also returns after missing half of his rookie season last year with an injury. He is a make or break guy for the Cowboys this year. If Felix Jones can contribute at a high level this will be a dangerous team come January. That is, if Tony Romo can not take vacations a week before a playoff game.
4. Washington Redskins The Redskins, what can be said about the Redskins...They signed Albert Haynesworth. Jim Zorn is their coach...Do they still have Santana Moss?
NFC CENTRAL
1. Minnesota Vikings The Vikings look to repeat as division champs in Brad Childress’s fourth season with the club. If you haven’t heard, they have a new quarterback this season. He is kind of a big deal. They also have the best running back in the game and I beat Chase is Madden with the Vikes when he was with the Pack. Sorry Chase, but that IS how the season is going to play out.
2. Green Bay Packers The Pack finish 2nd to Brett Favre and the Vikings because of said Madden result. Also the Pack are switching from a 4-3 defense to a 3-4 defense this year and hope first round draft pick B.J. Raji clogs up running lanes. Aaron Rodgers is starting his 2nd year of starting and looks to defend his shootout title in the process...
3. Chicago Bears The Bears perhaps made the biggest splash of the off season (within the division) with the trade for quarterback Jay Cutler. The only thing that the Bears forgot was that a quarterback needs wide receivers to throw to. This could lead to multiple interceptions thrown by Cutler followed by a blamestorming session.
4. Detroit Lions The Lions can’t go 0-16 again this year can they? Matthew Stafford was picked as the heir apparent and savior of the franchise but has looked rattled in the preseason (unlike this guy). The Lions have weapons and could easily win like 4 games this year.
NFC SOUTH
1. New Orleans Saints This pick is squarely on the health of Reggie Bush. The Saints again have a solid running back that Bush can split time with (Pierre Thomas) and this also allows Bush to roam freely around in formations. With him also returning punts this year, Bush will be one of the more dangerous players in the NFC this year. Also Drew Brees still has that thing on this face. And when that thing is on his face, you know he is on his game.
2. Carolina Panthers The Panthers are looking to not do what happened to them at the end of their preseason game vs the Giants this season and win a few games. They will again rely on their two headed monster at running back with DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Their only weakness could be their quarterback play with “Daylight come...and you got to Delhomme”. They should have signed Michael Vick...
3. Atlanta Falcons Speaking of Michael Vick, his old team did just fine with out him last year making the playoffs behind Matt “Matty Ice” Ryan. Ryan was just what this franchised needed after the Vick thing happened and then new head coach Bobby Petrino quit on the team halfway through the next season. Bold prediction...Michael Turner breaks down late in the season. Too many carries last season. Call it the Jamal Anderson effect.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Tampa is heading backwards as they are under new coach Raheem Morris after jet setting old coach Jon Gruden to Monday Night Football. Also they are looking for a new quarterback and have to decide between Byron Leftwich, one of the McCown brothers and first round pick Josh Freeman. Good luck with that Raheem.
NFC WEST
1. Seattle Seahawks Seattle’s season last year was somewhat like the New York Mets season this year...anyone that was anyone got injured at some point in the year. New wide receiver TJ Whosyourmama will look to be the clear #1 guy for the first time in his career after splitting duties with Chad Ocho Cinco his entire life (played at Oregon State with Johnson/Ocho Cinco as well). He will probably have a big year but regret signing with Seattle and not Minnesota because he will be wet constantly with how much it rains there. Did he know that the Vikings play inside?
2. Arizona Cardinals The Cardinals surprised everyone last season with making the playoffs and riding the wave all the way to the Super Bowl. How crazy is it that the Cardinals were a few plays away from being Super Bowl Champs? The Arizona Cardinals? Seriously. There is hope for all of mankind if the Cardinals can reach a Super Bowl.
4. St. Louis Rams Torry Holt is gone. Steven Jackson probably will get hurt along with Marc Bulger. Probably will be another lost season for the Rams. But hey, there is always hope remember?
AFC PLAYOFFS
SEEDS 1. New England 2. Pittsburgh 3. Indianapolis 4. San Diego 5. Baltimore 6. Tennessee
WILD CARD ROUND
San Diego over Baltimore LT and Co take out Baltimore because Phillip Rivers talked trash to Joe Flacco and got Flacco off of his game. This was over heard coming from the Chargers QB’s mouth “Shave the caterpillars on your forehead. Yeah baby!”
Indianapolis over Tennessee Peyton Manning > Kerry Collins/Vince Young
Indianapolis > Tennessee
DIVISIONAL ROUND
New England over San Diego The Hood comes up with a scheme to stop San Diego’s offense and Tom Brady throws deep to Randy Moss a bunch. It’s a Madden dream
Indianapolis over Pittsburgh Peyton realizes that his window may be closing and defeats Pittsburgh by himself by recording 10 tackles and intercepting two Ben Roethlisberger passes while throwing for 315 yards and three scores. Yeah, he can do it all
CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND
New England over Indianapolis Peyton Manning hates Tom Brady. Tom Brady does not care.
NFC PLAYOFFS
SEEDS 1. Philadelphia 2. Minnesota 3. New Orleans 4. Seattle 5. New York 6. Dallas
WILD CARD ROUND
Dallas over New Orleans Tony Romo wins his first playoff game and Dallas finally forgets about Quincy Carter.
New York over Seattle The Giants defensive line causes havoc all game long and Hasselbeck probably gets hurt because of it.
DIVISONAL ROUND
Dallas over Philadelphia Dallas pulls the upset over the hated Eagles. Eagles fans blame Mike Vick for killing dogs three years ago.
Minnesota over New York The Vikings have owned the Giants as of late and hopefully this continues in a playoff setting. Also T-Jack is not starting a playoff game. He is.
CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND
Minnesota over Dallas Yeah baby. We’re going to Miami.
SUPERBOWL
Minnesota over New England Super Bowl homeboy! The Vikes, led by grizzled gun-slinger Brett Favre defeat the Pats and win their first Super Bowl in team’s history. Suicide rates skyrocket in Wisconsin. No one is sure why.
First, lest start off with a little clip before I get into the good stuff...
Now, there are two things that are important to keep in mind while watching this clip. First, it is probably the best part of a classic comedy and second, it is how I feel about my Minnesota Twins on Monday, August 24th...
This season has been a strange one to say the least. Joe Mauer is currently leading the world in batting average (no surprise) but is 2nd in slugging (behind Pujols)? The Twins, once a team notorious for not hitting home runs, now have four players with 20+ and it is possible that three Twins will have 30 home runs this year. Think about that for a moment...the last 30 home run hitter for the Twins was Kent Hrbek before Justin Morneau's season of 34 in 2006. And now the Twins will have three players all reach this plateau?
And don't get me started on the starting pitchers. The former backbone of the team is now wilting away to mysterious DL stints after rough outings and bad start after bad start. Fransisco Liriano was suppose to be back to normal after a good end to the 2008 season. Nick Blackburn, Kevin Slowey and Glen Perkins were all suppose to take that next step and become bona fied starting pitchers. Scott Baker was suppose to be the Ace of the staff. Instead Liriano looks scared on the mound and wont attack hitters. Blackburn started out well but has gotten inexplicably shelled recently, Slowey got a lucky 10 wins and went down for the season in early July and Glen Perkins? I don't even know what to say about Glen Perkins. Baker started out rough (I believe that he was still hurt) but has been that Ace that the Twins have needed in the 2nd half.
Some more stats to throw your way...
The Twins (as a team) are: 4th (out of 30 teams) in Batting Average, 11th in Home Runs, 7th in RBI's, 9th in Slugging and 8th in On Base Percentage. That sounds like a good team huh? Well, lets dig deeper...
The Twins (as a team) are: 24th in ERA, 24th in Shutouts, 6th in Earned Runs Allowed, and other teams in Major League baseball hit .276 off the Twins, which is good for 4th worst in the league. (Quick note on pitching...The Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles actually have worse pitching stats in most categories but yet are still in first place and the Twins are under .500)
The Twins are playing.....WHITE SOX BASEBALL
They aren't playing "Twins Baseball" which everyone in Minnesota loves to death. I'm not going to lie, at first I didn't like it. But honestly, how can you not dig the longball. It's not Joe Mauer's fault that after he hits another home run to left center that Liriano gives up a 3-run bomb in the next half inning.
And it all started with that Oakland game. Could things be different right now if the Twins wouldn't have blown that lead? Perhaps. But as of tonight they are still only four games back in the division and are on a four game winning streak (longest of the season?) I've tried to write this season off as a lost cause, but the Twins keep fighting back. They are my Lloyd Christmas...
Is that your final answer?
A professional football player...I'm not joking
Crap...only $5!
Where I spent a good part of three Minnesota State Fairs
My closing down procedures
Before
After
This is Chris Baker. He is the one on the left in the hat. He made me look like a dick.
The Minnesota State Fair, and all of it's loyal followers
Ladies and Gentlemen, KFAN Promotions Coordinator Tim Hyde. He loves the State Fair
Nice tan lines. Funny thing about this picture is, no less then 30 seconds after I took it, he came over to the KFAN booth where I was working and bought a T-shirt
Your mom goes out with...Squeak
Sorry whoever you are...this had to be done
Vikings Family
All of the fish that Minnesota has to offer, all in one place folks
Umm, straightcashhomey.net gold right here
The fair dies when the the sun goes down
MN State Fair
Da Fan
More...people...
Really not all it's cracked up to be
A suicidal banana
You wouldn't believe how many people like to be suspended in air
Just dance your cares away my shirtless friend
What I did during the state fair
C'mon, you need to move on man
People...a lot of them
A bunch of random crap
Rawrrrr
This is called a "Favre Family"
My Brother once broke his face on this ride one year
That is a fine looking cow you got there
How do I feel about Brett Favre? Well, let me tell you
Mini horse(s)
Love...
Round and round we go
This woman has been trapped in this little box for generations...
Its....about a foot long. Not quite. Just about.
Its not blooming, its flowering
Good riddance state fair
