3 nights, 2 games, 1 great time

Where to begin? Well first off I will tell y’all that I was in the Show-Me State for this past weekend plus following the greatest team known to man, the Twins of course, who else?

It all began a few months ago when my mother asked me the innocent question of, “Would you like to go to the Twins game in St. Louis?” She really didn’t have to even finish her question before I said yes. For anyone that knows me, this decision what not a hard one to come by. She then added that they played in Kansas City the next night to play the hapless Royals. Originally the plan was for me and her to go on this trip but I’m guessing my brother would have something to say about this so mother also invited him to go. Needless to say, I have been looking forward to this weekend for months and it quickly approached.

We left my mothers house at 8 o’clock central time (for those keeping score) and were off to our first destination of St. Louis, Missouri. The drive down was quicker then I expected. We made a few pit stops to stretch and change drivers a few times (mother shot down my idea of a Chinese fire drill at a stop light) and also to check in with gram and gramps down in the little farming down of Dysart, Iowa. I was informed that this is now a tourist attraction because of the small boutique type shops in “downtown” and that bus loads of Iowans come in to buy things. Whatever floats their respected boats I guess.

After filling up on scrambled eggs and sausage we were again heading towards the gateway to the west. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. A few buildings here and there but mostly Missouri is pretty plain, oh and hilly as mother mentioned 24534592 times during the trip. One thing that I do want to say is: the play by play duo for the St. Louis Cardinals is the worst I have ever heard. I’m not one to bash other teams play by play guys because I know the Twins guy’s aren’t the best but we love them anyway and that is probably how St. Louis feels about theirs. But c’mon. If you are ever in the mood to listen to a baseball game and want to throw something at the radio listen to a Cardinals game on the radio. Usually for radio calls, one guy will call the game until the 4^th inning then hand it over to his counterpart for the 4^th-6^th innings or so and then finish the rest of the game. Well the first guy for the Cards wasn’t all that bad but it was his partner that I wanted to strangle.

This guy (I don’t care to look up his name) had no idea what a microphone was. We were first introduced to him somewhere along the 3^rd inning as out of no where some grumbling occurred in the background. My brother looked at me and had the expression on his face that questioned where this voice came from since he had not spoken all game. When he took over after the 4^th inning it was a back and forth struggle with my sanity.

First, he couldn’t figure out where the microphone is, at least I think that is what the problem was. We had to turn up the volume for most of the game because he wasn’t speaking into it and then all of a sudden he would find the mic and would blow our ear drums out causing us to turn down the volume. This would keep repeating until the game was over. It was the most outrageous thing I have ever heard on the radio. I’m sure the producers for the Cards are very fed up with it as well but probably not as this has to be a regular occurrence. Secondly, he was the most unenthused announcer in the history of announcers. It was like he was announcing a surgical procedure and could not wake the patient. Half of the time he was very behind in his calls as you could hear the crack of the ball making a connection with a wooden bat and this guy would continue to be talking about something else until the play had ended.

I wish I could say that this is the end of my complaints with the radio broadcast but sadly, it is not. The station that hosted the mockery that is a play by play crew would always go to commercial break to early. I counted at least 4 times when the station cut to commercial while the play by play announcer was still talking and thus causing my mother to be confused. At one time she thought that we were picking up two stations at once, that is how bad it was.

Enough about those fools and onto the city that I found to be quite boring actually. Other then the Arch and the Cardinals, St. Louis has nothing of real value. Sure they have the Rams and the Blues and a few BBQ restaurants here and there and the St. Lunatics hail from said city, but other then that, St. Louis doesn’t have much to offer in my opinion. It does have one thing going of it…it is hot as shit in the summer. I mean wow ( I have some good pictures of what the sun can do to you in Missouri that will be reserved for the :in pictures portion of the trip).

We got into St. Louis on Saturday night and did some sight seeing (more like walking towards the arch and looking at all of their court systems that they have downtown) and eventually went to eat at a place called Maggie O’Brien’s that boasts the best BBQ in the STL area. The food was good but not great and after we retired to our hotel room and put on the swimming suits to hop into the pool to wash the gallon of sweat and saltiness that had gathered on us from walking around (we broke the wait 30 minutes after you eat to go swimming rule. I come from a family of badasses)

Since we had a 9:50 date with the top of the St. Louis Arch the next morning (and the fact that we had been in a car all day and in the sun all evening) we went to bed relatively early for my standards (10:30 or so), I went to bed happy as I had a monster day in fantasy baseball (thank you Andre Ethier).

The arch is, as I put it, “very pointless but also very cool”. To get to the top you have to take a little tram type thing that looks like what people in the 60’s thought would pass for futuristic. You were bunched into a small sphere of death if it were ever to malfunction with 4 other people and it took about 2 minutes to get to the top of the arch. Once at the top there were lookout holes that you could see for miles out of. It was a bit overwhelming at times for me because as I leaned out over one of the peep holes I kept imagining the arch breaking at the bottom and me falling to my death (so positive I am). Some facts about the arch: the top is 630 feet off of the ground, it was made in 1965 and it attracts two million visitors per year, like I said pointless but cool.

After the arch we started to walk over to the new Busch Stadium. I was quite impressed with the stadium that will be hosting this year’s all-star game, although it is not hard for me to be impressed with major league stadiums considering the stadium I call home is covered in Teflon and artificial grass. The game time temperature was a staggering 91 degrees in the mid afternoon and I took it as an opportunity to take my shirt off and enjoy baseball how it was meant to be played, outdoors. My decision to go shirtless would haunt me later as I think my skin is the same color as the Cardinals primary color. Justin Morneau started off the game with a bang, hitting his first home run in 63 at bats and causing the many Twins fans to cheer. I even got a Twinkie out of the deal as Twins fans above us started throwing them out after the home run.

The rest of the game was like all other baseball games, a few hits here, a few strikeouts there with runs scored in between. In the end the good guys got the much needed road win and I left a happy guy (besides the current state of the skin on my stomach and shoulders). After the game we took off to Kansas City to see game two of the Twins road trip.

Kansas City is a modest city in Missouri but its far better then St. Louis in my mind. In St. Louis I kept mentioning that it was devoid of night life as far as I could tell. Kansas City is a different story. After checking out the WWI memorial (closed on Mondays and we were in KC on a Monday) and the Crown Plaza (basically a small town of shops and restaurants) we headed to Arther Byrant’s famed BBQ eatery. It is definitely famous for a reason as it features some of the best burnt ends I have ever eaten (to be fair I don’t think I’ve ever eaten burnt ends but they were good). After stuffing our faces we tried to go to The College Basketball Experience in downtown KC (closed on Monday’s, seriously if you go on a trip somewhere, don’t sight see on a Monday) and eventually headed back to the hotel for me to nap because I was getting crabby and was tired of walking around everywhere.

We got to “The New K” as they now call it as Kauffman Stadium underwent a major renovation this past off-season a few hours before game time to get a feel for the place. And I have to say, it is the best stadium of any kind I have witnessed a game in so far in my life. The most impressive feature of the New K was its awesome video board. It's huge and in HD so everything looks so clear and vivid. Plus they showed replays on it (you hear that metrodome, its a novel concept that you should look in to). They call Busch Field "Baseball Heaven", obviously whoever coined that nickname has not been to the New K.

As for the game, it was pretty uneventful. The Twins left their bats in St. Louis it seemed and were 1 hit most of the game until Justin Morneau's bomb in the 7th or 8th inning. They ended up losing 4-2 in what felt like a semi home game. It was surreal how many Twins fans made the trip to both St. Louis and Kansas City. I'm proud to be a Twins fan after seeing all of the others.

All in all it was an amazing trip and I will never forget it...now to the awards for the weekend.

Best BBQ Award

Aurther Bryant's - Kansas City

Best Sign by a Twins fan

"Lets get Denarded in here" - St. Louis. Very clever

Coolest tourist stop

St. Louis Arch

Most overused phrase

"It's really hilly in Missouri, I didn't know that" - Mother

Best thing since slided bread

Solercaine. Greatest thing ever

Twin of the trip

Jose Mijares for his outfield antics during BP in Kansas City. I would love to be a relief pitcher

Best way to pass time

Can I Keep My Jersey by Paul Shirley. What a great book. I cruised through roughly 280 pages on the drive and finished it. I recommend

And mess it up they did

Of course, new regime, same old dumb drafts. Did you think there was any other way? Like this time was going to be any different. Why would you draft two point guards back to back with the 5 and 6 picks? Only David Kahn knows. I like Flynn. A lot. But you know how I feel about pretty Ricky.

Whatever, I'm done with the Timberpups. I have a new allegiance....

BOOM! See ya Wolves, I'm a Buck now...

So many options, only so many ways to mess it up

But that was the old regime right? Right?

We will see tonight as David Kahn gets his first crack at trying to restore the Timberwolves back to glory (of losing in the first round of the playoffs). It has been said (by those media types) that the Wolves hold the key to this years draft, and for once they do. The pups have four, count them four first round selections tonight and two in the second round.

The Wolves received the 5 pick and a bunch of stiffs for Randy "4th Quarter" Foye and Mike "Please Don't Make Me Shoot" Miller so I guess it was officially the end of the McHale era. This gives the Wolves the 5, 6, 18 and 28 pick in the first round. They would like to move into the 2-3 pick area (so I've heard) so they can make the mistake and draft Ricky Rubio with that pick. So far trade talks have been at a stand still because Memphis wants the 5 and 6 pick for the 2, and that is stupid, so the Wolves said no thanks.

Here's what the Wolves should do: Keep both the 5 and 6 position in the top 10. Take Tyreke Evans AND James Harden which forms a great 1-2 punch and Evans can play the point as well. That leaves the Wolves with two first round picks left to go (18 and 28). They should package them both and perhaps even throw in a 2nd round pick (45 or 47, which ever one it doesn't matter) for....

wait for it...

getting excited??

The Wolves should select my man, Brandon Jennings. Yes yes y'all. I have been on the Jennings bandwagon since the McDonald's All-Star game. I've followed his blog while he was over in Europe and he has been my facebook picture for the better part of the last four months. So Kahn, please do me a favor. Make me happy. Remember, if you don't do what I say...bad things happen. I think the Goslins can attest to that.

Last weekend: iN pictureS

Rock the Garden 2009

The lineup for the afternoon

Solid Gold

Crowd shot: etp (estimated time of picture) 5:15p

Taking picture of someone taking a picture

The spoon, with a cherry on top

All this guy wants is a friend

The only real meal of the day

Crowd shot: etp 6:45p

Decemberists rockin' in B&W

I like my knees. I watched my step

Decemberists checking out Calexico

The aforementioned Calexico

Crowd shot: etp 7:15p

The Decemberists

Crowd shot: etp 7:50p

Alright, alright, allllllllllllllright

The Hazards of Love

Great show

Rain.

Rain. Bow.

I call this "The Entryway"

This moment is captured twice

Chase trying to cheat

Whiskey Cokes was the drink of choice

AJ probably bowling a strike

Cheeto's motto for life

Look at that form

AJ picked out my shoes

For those with a sweet tooth

I have a treat for you, well two treats actually. If you have any sort of sweet tooth at all you have to try these two new (?) candies that I have found recently.

The first candy is so simple, I'm surprised I have never seen them before. Do you like suckers? How about Tootsie Pop suckers in particular? You do huh? Well, I'm not surprised really, everyone loves Tootsie Pops. What if I told you that now you can get them in little bite sized candies? Well you are in luck because I'm telling you that you can get them in little bite sized candies.

Boom goes the dynamite...

This could be the greatest breakthrough in the candy world. Think about it, you can be enjoying a Tootsie Pop at any time. No one would know you have one unless you opened your mouth and tried to talk. No longer will you have to have a sick piercing out of your mouth. No longer will you have to look like a squirrel just to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Genius.

The other candy creation that I found was this gem...

If you like Mounds...you will love Coconut M&M's. Again, genius. Now I realize that coconut isn't for everyone. But if it is for you, I highly recommend it.

TT: Double Trouble

I was a little torn as to what this Tuesday's trash would go to so I decided to give the award to two things this week. Both can be considered serious but only one of them I am truly disappointed in.

A sorry sight

First let me start with something that, if you are like me, happens way too often in warm temperatures. No, I'm not talking about this...I'm talking about the round, wet area under my arms. Yes, I am talking about pit stains.

Is there something out there that is more embarrassing? Especially since you have no control over it really. I think I have tried so many different kinds of deodorant that my sweat has built up some immunity to them. I've tried invisible gels, invisible solids, visible solids. Based on a recommendation I've even tried gels (they don't work all that well) (On a side note: the weird thing about this phenomenon is that I sweat under my right arm much more then under my left. I don't know why. That's just the way it is. Things will never be the same. (Miss ya Pac))

Sam and I took our first class together last fall and it is where we met "The Doctor". I would always joke about how the Doctor wanted him, sexually. That, along with how Sam had the same feelings for her. Sam eventually came around and started to joke with me about it so it was all in fun. The next semester I had her as a teacher for one of my classes and every class (Thursdays) I would text Sam that she was looking good for her and how he is jealous that I have a class with her. He would usually text me something back along the lines of "oh yeah, niiiice. Tell her I say hi". Of course, I never did (sorry Sam).

So what does the Doctor have to do with pit stains? Well do the math...

The spring came. The temperatures rose. Sweat was collected under selected said armpits of the Doctor. Sam wept silently.

Bad Goslin, Bad

The last trash goes to the Goslins. Now, before I starts ranting, I should let you know that I did not see Monday's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 because I was at Transformers 2: Michael Baysplosion! so I don't know all of what was said, but seriously, you (because I'm sure Jon and/or Kate will read this and because of that I am addressing them personally) let a taste of the celebrity life ruin your marriage and most importantly you ruined a budding family that appeared to be so loving.

Jon first stirred up all of this with his sneaking around with one of the children's teacher which, yeah, was dumb and wrong and bad, blah blah. But like I wrote WEEKS AGO, Kate is crazy. It's weird to look at her now when just a year ago she looked totally different (thanks TLC - love, Kate)

Lesson learned...people need to listen to me more or else bad things will happen. What if one of the Goslins stumbled upon my humble little blog and read what I wrote? Would it have changed anything? Well, I guess we will never know now will we?

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

...without a dope beat to step to. Gotta love Puff Daddy, or P Diddy, or Diddy S (my prediction for his next nick name).

Anyway, I haven't posted because I currently have no internet at my house, and I haven't had time to do so, and I've decided that I don't like posting every day. So take that.

Lets begin...

Rock Ze Garden

The morning of Rock the Garden did not start out as I would have liked but it ended very well. Lets start from the beginning shall we? Well, Friday night Cheeto and I had a few adult beverages at a local watering hole. Not enough to cause intoxication but I had been drinking with the Cities 97 crew earlier (fo free!) so I had my share of beverages (adult versions) throughout the night.

The next morning I woke up very early (8 am or so, I'm still not sure) and I had that feeling in my stomach that you never want waking up after a night of drinking. I made a straight b-line to the bathroom and proceeded to empty the contents on my stomach, multiple times. My roommate (who is a sweetheart) checked on me to make sure I was alright and sure enough I wasn't dying so that was good (told ya she was a sweetheart).

The way I felt the rest of the morning, I would compare to the time freshman year where Sam and I swore that we were drugged. We couldn't move the entire day without feeling nauseous or what have you. That was me again until about 2:30, when I decided that I had to suck it up and head to Rock the Garden. I ate a piece of toast and was on my way (my first solid food of the day).

I got to the concert at 3:15 or so, settled base camp on the left side of the stage and waited for Solid Gold to perform. The ticket for the concert said that it started at 3 but they lied. Solid Gold didn't go on stage until 4:30 so for a hour or so I just kinda sat there, slowly recovering from the night before.

Solid Gold was good, I'm not too familiar with their music other then a few songs that get airplay on the current. I know they are a local band from Minneapolis so it was cool to see the response that they got from the crowd. I'd give them 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Yeasayer was next on the bill only I'm not sure what they sound like. I dipped out for the beginning of the set because I wanted to check out some of the sculptures in the sculpture garden and because I have never heard of Yeasayer. I will forever refer to them as Yawnsayer because that is also what I did during their set, I took a nap (I'm so clever it's not ever fair). 1 out of 5 stars.

Next Calexico from Tuscan, Arizona took the stage. I don't know much about Calexico other then that they have fans all over the world. That's because half of their band are from a foreign country. They (obviously) have a very worldly sound to their music. 3 out of 5 stars.

The band that everyone was there to see headlined the event. The Decemberists have been around for awhile now but because of the current, their reputation has grown and grown. They rocked. Plain and simple. They have a great stage show with The Hazards of Love rock opera/storyline with all of the theatrics and lights. The last song they played was Crazy on You by Heart and they rocked it better then Heart ever could. Overall great stuff and I'm glad I got to be there. 4.5 out of 5 stars (not quite White Rabbits territory)

The day of Chase's Birth

Bryant-Lake Bowl was the scene for a bowling beatdown. It was Chase's birthday so AJ, Cheeto, myself, Chase, Meredith, Janelle and Becky went bowling. Why not right? After my ideas of using bumpers was found to be impossible (there were no bumpers) we decided to just bowl like real men, no bumpers, all natural.

None of us have ever been to the Bryant-Lake Bowl so we were excited to find out how old school it really is. How old school you ask? Well it was sooo old school that you had to keep track of your own score (thanks Cheeto). We bowled four games and had a great time. The wings were great. The beer was cold (when the waitress waited on us) and the company was even better. Our first game everyone bowled bad so Chase, AJ and I decided that something needed to be done. After making a minor, yet very effective, adjustment to our games the rest was as they say, history.

We starting throwing strike after strike and laughing about how we were disappointed if we didn't roll a strike. I can say very confidently that last night was by far the best I have bowled in my life and it wasn't too bad considering I don't remember the last time I bowled.

I'm pretty sure everyone had a great time and we might even turn it into a sunday shindig for anyone interested. Let me/chase/meredith/cheeto/aj know if you are ever down to go bowling for cheap.

The rest

About me now-a-days, because I know you guys are really interested...Like I said I have decided to scale back my posting. I like this format better because I can fill more space and for the most part the posts are more thought out instead of being rushed to have something posted. If you don't like it, thats cool, I don't like you anyway.

My TV watching is good. I haven't been watching too much TV because I haven't been home that often. It's nice to get out and around in this city and I recomend it. Also it's summer, go outside people.

Lastly, the mohawk that some of you may know that I have has offically gotten out of control. I first got my mohawk the night before my marathon (May 23rd) and it was hastly buzzed and in bad lighting. I haven't gotten it fixed since then. I does look pretty gross and I'm glad that I can wear a hat to work and I guess I'm just waiting until Chase fixes it, which will hopefully happen sometime this week.

I will be putting pictures up from this weekend sometime later and also maybe a before/after pic of my mohawk in all of its glory. Until then, love thy neighbor...

It was a good run

We finally learned the truth a few days ago. The thing that everyone knew eventually would happen, happened. I'm not talking about Sammy Sosa being named as one of the 104 steroid junkies...I'm talking about my snare drum on my Guitar Hero drums breaking down.

My drum kit has taken its fair share of beatings. Upon purchasing the greatest video game of all time, I have played my little heart out. From drum rolls to hi hat fades and everything in between, my drums have seen it all.

Sam and I wanted to have some band practice, as we like to call it, on Monday and so we got everything set up and we were ready to go. I picked a killer set list (So What by Pink, Her Strut by Bob Seger, What's My Age Again by Blink-182, Hotel California by The Eagles, Hollywood Nights by Bob Seger, and to finish it off Hot For Teacher by Van Halen. Pretty good right?) and we starting rocking to the first song...only something was off. I failed the song but I knew that I was hitting all of the notes. Maybe the auto kick pedal cheat was off (I'm good, just not that good). After checking that we proceeded to try again...

That is when everything went wrong. I would hit the snare drum (red drum for all of you noobs) and it would not register. I took the drum apart and found a broken wire, not good. I'm still not too sure what to do so Guitar Hero sits in waiting to be fixed. Any ideas?

TT: Rubes

If you don't know a Rube is, let me inform you...

Rube [roob] -Defined as someone who:

1. Listens to KFAN at length
   
2. Thinks that they are friends with the on-air guys
   
3. Wears the same viking/twin/t-wolf shirt and/or jersey now as they did in 1992
   
4. Usually has an IQ of less then 70

Now that you know what a rube is, let me tell you why they need to go away. I've worked in the radio industry now going on my 3rd year of service at the fine company of Clear Channel (I would say other things but the economy is bad and jobs are scarce. I don't want to be like the Philly guy that lost his job because he said that the Eagles made a mistake by not resigning Brian Dawkins on facebook.) and the term rube comes from the sports talk radio station that is KFAN.

KFAN is the leading sports talk radio station in the upper midwest and that is because there are a lot of weird people in the state of Minnesota. Basically, what these rubes do is call in under a moniker (Monday Night Football Guy, for example) and talk to the radio hosts until they are hung up on. I have a good story about one such instance.

I was at a live broadcast with the Common Man (Dan Cole for all of you non-rubes) at Interlachen Country Club in Edina for the Woman's US Open a few years back, and Common decided to take some calls (because no one was at the live broadcast. It was really dumb. We basically just sat around for 3 hours until Chad Hartman told us to go home because it was pointless for us to be there. Thanks Chad, miss you) and this old guy called in...and proceeded to talk for 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even sure what he talked about he went on so long.

Being who Common is, he loved this caller. It let him sit back and not do anything but agree with someone for 10 minutes. When Common was finally forced to go to commercial break, he told the caller that he would call him if he ever needed some time to fill on his show (which is usually everyday, but to my knowledge this caller has never been called to fill time).

I do think that my favorite rube event is the Minnesota State Fair. For KFAN we have live broadcasts all day, everyday (the on-air guys hate it, I love it) and it becomes prime rube watching time. We usually have a good bingo game going with spaces labeled state fair hair (the girls with the crazy colored hair where it is all teased up and sparkly, you know the one) Crocs with socks (a local favorite) and my personal favorite, kids that have no chance (because of their parents. Sometimes it's not your fault that you like to wear thigh high shorts with knee socks. It's in your blood).

I don't want to totally bash rubes because I know some of you out there listen to said radio station and I used to work there (at cities 97 now). Some of you are rational and do not believe that Paul Allen is talking specifically to them. Perhaps even some of you know that the on-air personalities are just that, personalities. Except in PA's case. I think he is always that arrogent...

WNBA: iN picTures

A Rockwell sighting

The attendees of the "game"

The kid train that they had at half time. Set to this.

The upper deck was tarped off for your viewing pleasure

Happy Birthday Sam!!!

Watching the NHL game

Sue Bird's ass

Where is Emily Fox?

Make your own comment. I have none.

The row of lesbians that were mad that we were laughing.

Crowd shot.

Lynx Party Zone. What a party it was.

Follow the arrow. (note. This is a female)