TT: Rubes

If you don't know a Rube is, let me inform you...

Rube [roob] -Defined as someone who:

1. Listens to KFAN at length
   
2. Thinks that they are friends with the on-air guys
   
3. Wears the same viking/twin/t-wolf shirt and/or jersey now as they did in 1992
   
4. Usually has an IQ of less then 70

Now that you know what a rube is, let me tell you why they need to go away. I've worked in the radio industry now going on my 3rd year of service at the fine company of Clear Channel (I would say other things but the economy is bad and jobs are scarce. I don't want to be like the Philly guy that lost his job because he said that the Eagles made a mistake by not resigning Brian Dawkins on facebook.) and the term rube comes from the sports talk radio station that is KFAN.

KFAN is the leading sports talk radio station in the upper midwest and that is because there are a lot of weird people in the state of Minnesota. Basically, what these rubes do is call in under a moniker (Monday Night Football Guy, for example) and talk to the radio hosts until they are hung up on. I have a good story about one such instance.

I was at a live broadcast with the Common Man (Dan Cole for all of you non-rubes) at Interlachen Country Club in Edina for the Woman's US Open a few years back, and Common decided to take some calls (because no one was at the live broadcast. It was really dumb. We basically just sat around for 3 hours until Chad Hartman told us to go home because it was pointless for us to be there. Thanks Chad, miss you) and this old guy called in...and proceeded to talk for 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even sure what he talked about he went on so long.

Being who Common is, he loved this caller. It let him sit back and not do anything but agree with someone for 10 minutes. When Common was finally forced to go to commercial break, he told the caller that he would call him if he ever needed some time to fill on his show (which is usually everyday, but to my knowledge this caller has never been called to fill time).

I do think that my favorite rube event is the Minnesota State Fair. For KFAN we have live broadcasts all day, everyday (the on-air guys hate it, I love it) and it becomes prime rube watching time. We usually have a good bingo game going with spaces labeled state fair hair (the girls with the crazy colored hair where it is all teased up and sparkly, you know the one) Crocs with socks (a local favorite) and my personal favorite, kids that have no chance (because of their parents. Sometimes it's not your fault that you like to wear thigh high shorts with knee socks. It's in your blood).

I don't want to totally bash rubes because I know some of you out there listen to said radio station and I used to work there (at cities 97 now). Some of you are rational and do not believe that Paul Allen is talking specifically to them. Perhaps even some of you know that the on-air personalities are just that, personalities. Except in PA's case. I think he is always that arrogent...